So, as some of my readers already know, I am engaged to be married. I took the other half to Paris at the start of December and popped the question. Now he’s got over the shock and seems more or less resigned to his fate, we have begun tentatively to discuss the actual wedding part of things. Any of you who have been recently married may already know this but fuck me people are mental about weddings.
Having spent the last hour browsing various wedding related websites I am torn between horror and hilarity. There are people out there who think that 150 guests makes a small-medium size wedding, that a wedding video is an essential, that it is normal and ok to spend £4000 on a dress you’ll wear once and that it’s vital to buy linen chair covers in case the hideously expensive venue has chairs you don’t quite like. It’s not so much a question of whether I can afford these things (I can’t) as to why they are so important. I come out in a most uncharacteristic rash of Puritanism and want to ask people about what it’s all really for. Scanning a checklist of “essentials” my most common mental response to the many things the bride is supposed to choose is “don’t give a fuck”. And I say that as a person with a considerable interest in the trivialities of life.
I’m determined that I shall not moan about the process of wedding planning however. If it’s not fun we shouldn’t be doing it. I can’t not promise to not be preoccupied by it (will I manage to teach a special subject on the Second World War AND hand-sew a wedding dress at the same time? it sounds like a bad reality TV show).
CONGRATULATIONS!
I agree though…I ended up getting married in a modern dress, in front of 44 people, followed by dinner in a pub. I hope you don’t find it too stressful. Just remember that no-one else’s opinion matters about from yours (I mean both of you, natch). And congratulations again my lovely.
Congratulations again! Our wedding (which admittedly wasn’t exactly cheap, although still below the average even including all the parties) was practically hassle free. If you don’t obsess about the details it’s pretty easy to organise, really.
thanks Jane! I saw your photos on facebook, you looked lovely.
I think that not living in the same country as where we will be married might add a layer of hassle, as will the other half’s desire to invite a lot of people… we made a very preliminary list and it came in at about 100 people.
Congratulations! Parental expectations can be quite hard to manage. Our trick was to tell them we were getting hitched in a registry office. That way, when the tantrums subsided, we were able to ‘compromise’ on a Civil Union at a friend’s house with 60 guests.
ah no my mother would probably rather we did something very low key and informal, she hates formality and over the top shenanigans.
it’ll all work out ok I dare say.